My dear friend, I know, I’ve been there too. You woke up today and had a marvelous sleep even. However, one thing led to another, and then it was 7 pm. What happened? Where did I go today? What did I do? I mean yes, I did visit my friend there, that took a couple of hours, oh yeah and I ate, sure, I did some work but today was not a busy day so that was okay.. what happened though? What am I doing? Then you remember, yesterday was pretty similar as well… and then, the day before, too… only the day before, the difference was, maybe the day before, I had a bit more enthusiasm, I think?
I don’t even remember anymore. I notice though, the days are coming up faster and faster, and I don’t realize where they are going. I get worried, is this life? Is it going to pass this fast, and then then I will come to 70, of course with good luck, and then wonder where my days went? I am so scared of that. But even that is a little funny, I am fearing what? Some possibility in the future that might not even happen? Yet, it is ruining my day. Or, my days, rather.
Okay so, what do we do now? First of all, let’s consider, do we really, but REALLY, pass our days in this way? Or is it some kind of judgment that comes when it’s late at night and we are too tired to have any type of stable thought? Did you really “do nothing” today, or did you do many things that are of your liking and purpose, but the only thing was, you sometimes enjoy philosophizing in a self-pity voice about how mundane life is? Hey, I am there sister. I am the same. But genuinely though, think about this.
If the answer is yes, I genuinely have no clue where my days are going, It’s been like that for a long time and I need a pause button because I am feeling like it’s drawing me down and I need a break, then, my sister, my brother, I am here with you.
Okay, we know now what the issue is, but how do we proceed? What do we do with it? Because, when we know that something is not going as it should, we feel like there is something not right with it, it’s even worse. Because we know it’s not the right thing, yet we don’t know how to help it.
The truth is, it is a lifelong learning to figure it out, and this might sound overwhelming. However, if we focus on it one moment at a time, with complete surrender to the present moment and accepting whatever it is, staying open to ask for guidance on what our next step is to be, we might have a chance, and possibly sooner than later..
So I challenge you, the next time you wake up, and you start your day, you go into the kitchen and start making that coffee or breakfast, take a pause. Take one deep breath. Start noticing your body, and you can start with your hands. How does it feel inside? Are they light? Are they feeling a bit heavy? Are they feeling a little numb, so it makes you confused about what that feeling is? Many times I’ve felt numb as well. And I keep searching, I keep looking deeper, but I just can’t. It’s numb. And the more I search, the more I wrap myself around the thoughts that there must be something there and I end up in an even worse state than before. We don’t want that. We just want to observe. If it’s not the day for it, that’s fine. But take that deep breath. The next time you take it in, try if you can breathe into your hands. Imagine, the breath you are taking in, you are somehow pulling our beautiful oxygen into your hands, feeding all the cells with oxygen. After you’ve taken a few breaths of these, you will start feeling your hands getting lighter. You will start noticing, they feel a little bit more alive again. And then, continue with making your breakfast & coffee. Just do this one thing. One step at a time.
